Fudge's Fudge
by Janara
Summary: How do you solve a problem like Harry Potter? That is the only thought occupying Cornelius Fudge's mind these days. The brat needs to be silenced and brought to heel, and Cornelius Fudge is just the man to do it. HP/SS/LM
1. Fudge's Fudge

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter or any individuals occupying that universe.

**Summary**: How do you solve a problem like Harry Potter? That is the only thought occupying Cornelius Fudge's mind these days. The brat needs to be silenced and brought to heel, and Cornelius Fudge is just the man to do it. HP/SS/LM

**A/N**: This story is complete and will be posted relatively swiftly. It has three chapters and an epilogue. I hope you will enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoyed writing it.

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_Fudge's Fudge _

_01 Fudge's Fudge_

It is rather ironic that in the end the prophecy that Albus Dumbledore had been given had nothing to do with the resolution of the war between Light and Dark. It all came down to the bumbling of one disgruntled little man known as Cornelius Fudge.

Fudge rather liked being Minister of Magic. His will was absolute and he was free to do pretty much whatever he wanted. It didn't exactly hurt that anyone wanting something had to go through him to get it, and the more gold they were willing to fork over the more willing Fudge was to listen.

Yes, life was grand if you were Cornelius Fudge.

Until that fateful day in 1995 during the year the Triwizard Tournament took place at Hogwarts. The day when Harry blasted Potter claimed that You Know Who was back.

Being the consummated politician that he was, Fudge immediately thought to seek for the solution that would make him look least bad in the eye of the people. And proclaiming that He Who Must Not Be Named was back would _not_ make him look good to the people. So Fudge did what every good Politian does in this type of situations, he denied everything. Even going so far as to discredit the brat in hopes that whatever statement the boy did would be met with scorn and ridicule by the public, which should, hopefully, shut him up nicely since no one would willingly face that kind of scorn.

Unfortunately for Fudge, Harry Potter was made of sterner stuff than he had predicted, and the boy simply refused to cease his outlandish claim, insisting that he was telling the truth to anyone willing to listen.

Starting to fear for his political career, Fudge gave his most trusted lackey free hands to deal with the brat, knowing from experience that dear Dolores could change the mind of the most stubborn of people.

But for once not even Dolores could come through for her Minister, and Fudge was forced to look for solutions to his thorn elsewhere.

For weeks Cornelius buried himself in boring old tomes, studying diligently in a way he hadn't since his N.E.W.T.s year. And in the end his sacrifice paid off handsomely. He found the solution to how to make the boy shut his big mouth.

Cornelius Fudge was going to forcefully bond the brat to his soul mate!

Fudge didn't like to admit it, but Harry Potter was strong enough to have a soul mate, something that only the strongest of wizards and witches had. Something about balancing their powers and helping to ground them or some such nonsense. And if the brat didn't have a soul mate, then Cornelius was free to find someone suitable to bond the boy to and his problems would still be solved. One nice little threat to the brat's soul mate/spouse and things would finally go back to normal again.

Finding the item he needed was easy. All it took was a stroll down to the Department of Mysteries one night when he knew the place to be all but deserted. One of the perks of being Minister of Magic.

Feeling confident and sure of himself, Fudge ventured to Hogwarts one sunny Saturday morning, knowing that Dolores would ensure that Potter would be present and not off somewhere sulking in corners and thinking up new strategies to turn the wizarding world on its ear.

Humming a jaunty tune, even though it galled him that he had to walk from Hogsmead – honestly, he was the Minister of Magic, he should be allowed to Apparate wherever he wanted and not being forced to walk like some common wizard – Cornelius entered the Great Hall, ignoring the greeting coming from Dumbledore and zoomed in on his victim.

Walking over to Potter, Fudge plastered on a big smile and said jovially, masterfully, or so he thought, hiding his revulsion as he shook the Boy Who Lived's hand. "Harry Potter, the Ministry wishes to congratulate you for all the things you have done for the magical world. As a token of my appreciation, I am presenting you with this gift," Cornelius said, slapping the bracelet onto the brat's wrist, all but shouting the words that would activate the spell embedded in the bracelet, making sure to let go of the boy's hand before doing so to ensure that he wasn't ensnared by the magic.

"Cornelius Fudge, what have you done?" Dumbledore shouted, advancing on the Minister like some avenging angel. Fudge stood his ground, secure in the knowledge that the old coot was too late to do anything to stop him.

"Just what I told the bra- erm, the boy. I am awarding him for all the grand deeds he has done for the wizarding world," Cornelius replied, a benevolent smile firmly plastered on his face. It would not do to appear too smug. Not yet.

"Something is wrong with Harry!" a redheaded brat shouted, and Cornelius dimly recognised him as the best friend of the Boy Who Lived. A Weasley if he wasn't mistaken.

"Nonsense, the magic just needs some time to work, that is all," Cornelius replied, keeping firm hold of his benevolent smile. It _really_ wouldn't do to appear too smug this early in the game.

"What magic? What does that spell do? I don't recognise it," a bushy-haired female said, giving Fudge a reproachful look, causing the Minister to almost fidget. How dare that child question his actions?

"It is an ancient spell, designed to find a person's soul mate. It was more or less outlawed some eight hundred years ago," Dumbledore said, looking and sounding rather grim.

Cornelius huffed in annoyance but held his tongue. The magic should be finished soon, and then he would know who to threaten to keep the Boy Who Lived in line.

"Why was it outlawed? What does the spell do?" the nosy girl asked, chewing on her lip in worry.

"The spell searches through the magical population, looking for the perfect match to the one wearing an especially spelled bracelet," Dumbledore said, giving Fudge a dark look. Cornelius pointedly ignored him, watching the Brat Who Insisted On Living intently, waiting for some sign that the magic had run its course.

"That doesn't sound too bad," the girl said, looking between the Headmaster and Potter.

"The drawback is that the spell doesn't distinguish between species. It looks only to magic. The spell was outlawed when the daughter to one of our most prominent families had that spell cast upon her and she ended up tied to the leader of a Centaur clan. Understandably, no one was happy with that union."

Cornelius perked up as he heard that. None of the books he had consulted had mentioned that. Well, this was getting better and better. If Potter was tied to some half-breed, then his standing in the magical world would lessen without Fudge having to do anything at all. Oh, this was turning out to be even more magnificent than he'd even dared to dream of!

"Something's happening!" someone suddenly shouted and Cornelius leaned forward eagerly. Yes! The boy was beginning to glow, a clear indication that the spell was reaching its completion.

Fudge stepped closer, all but holding his breath in his eagerness, completely ignoring the angry mutterings among the staff and students. Apparently not everyone was happy with how the Minister opted to deal with Harry Potter.

Then someone screamed and Fudge frowned as Potter stopped emitting a steady golden light, and began to flash between gold, blue, and red instead.

"What is going on? Why is the boy flashing red and blue? He is supposed to be golden, proving that he has a soul mate that is on their way!" Cornelius demanded petulantly of Dumbledore, seeking the aid of the aged wizard much like the way young children go to their parents when things don't go their way.

Dumbledore sighed and resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I do not know, Cornelius. I told you, there is a reason as to why this particular spell was abandoned. Who bespelled the bracelet? Perhaps they made a mistake when placing the spell on it?"

"How should I know? I merely picked it up from the Unspeakables. I have no idea who originally cast the spell on the bracelet. All I know is that it is old and that it has been in the Department of Mysteries for ages," Cornelius said with a careless shrug.

"You took a bracelet from the Department of Mysteries? So you don't even know for sure what spells are on the thing? Cornelius, how could you!" Dumbledore thundered, rising Cornelius' own anger.

"Now hold on, Albus! I was only doing what was needed to protect the wizarding world. Harry Potter was getting out of hand, and _someone_ needed to do something about him. _You_ refused to do so, leaving that unpleasant business to _me_.

"I did my research. I know what the spell is supposed to do, although I must admit that I didn't know about the Centaur. But that is beside the point. The point is that the boy needs someone who can ground him and who will stop the boy from spreading this nonsense that He Who Must Not Be Named is back," Cornelius said, puffing his chest out in an attempt to look bigger and more important.

"Cornelius...!" Dumbledore groaned, but whatever else he was about to say was lost when the doors to the Great Hall was banged open and two cloaked figures came storming inside.

"Who goes there and what do you seek?" Dumbledore called, moving forward to meet this new, possible threat.

"Albus Dumbledore, what nonsense have you done now?" an irate voice hissed, sounding ready to murder the Headmaster.

"I can assure you, good sir, that this is not my doing," Albus said, looking highly affronted. "Blame _him_!" he added, pointing an accusing finger at Fudge.

Cornelius pulled himself up as tall as he could and began to bluster. Before he could actually say anything the doors leading to the dungeons were slammed open and a furious looking Severus Snape came stalking into the room, glowing an interesting blue.

"What imbecile is responsible for this?" the Potions master hissed dangerously.

"I'm so sorry, my boy, but it would seem that our Minister has caught you with his idiot spell," Dumbledore said with a tired sigh.

"What spell would that be?" one of the cloaked figures asked, and there was a decidedly reptilian quality to his voice.

"I was merely doing what was needed to keep the wizarding world safe," Cornelius said importantly, not about to allow these cretins to walk all over him.

"And what, exactly, did you do to ensure the wizarding world's safety?" Snape asked, looking like he wanted to eviscerate the Minister and use him for potions ingredients.

Fudge pulled himself up even higher. "Now look here, Snape, you have no right questioning my methods to keep a dangerous brat in line," he said, attempting to sound important and falling rather short of the mark.

"I have every right to questioning you, you pitiful baboon! Especially when you involve _me_ with whatever plans your pathetic mind is capable of dreaming up!" Snape hissed, looking, if possible, even more pissed off.

"This is leading us nowhere. Cornelius, I demand that you tell us what spell you used," Dumbledore said, for once not bothering to even attempt to keep things from the student population.

"You cannot demand things from me. I am the Minister of Magic," Cornelius said pompously.

"And I am Head Mugwump and Chief Warlock," Dumbledore retorted dryly. "I think you will find that I outrank you at this point in time. Especially since you have harmed one of my students, not to mention a member of my faculty, by using a spell that was outlawed centuries ago. I think that you will find, Cornelius, that this is a mess that you will not be able to talk your way out of. Or bribe," Dumbledore added thoughtfully.

"Harmed? _Harmed_? Albus, how dare you! I have merely attempted to give the boy the grounding he so clearly needs. It isn't _my_ fault that the boy somehow foiled that plan," Fudge added petulantly.

"Cornelius, the spell!" Dumbledore ordered, and Cornelius sighed, giving up the battle, but only for now. Besides, maybe Albus could fix whatever had gone wrong with the spell. Perkin up slightly, Cornelius became a bit more willing to disclose what spell he had used.

"It was the Soul and Magic Binding Spell, Albus. The one in old Celtic that was recorded down by Barabbas Mauha."

Four men simultaneously groaned in fury and despair.

"What?" Cornelius complained, cringing back slightly at the venomous looks sent his way.

"I always knew that you were a fool, but I never dreamed that you were capable of _this_ level of stupidity," Snape said, but he was interrupted before he could let his vitriol tongue completely lose.

"I have to agree with Severus. This is an entire new level of stupidity on your part, Cornelius, and I am going to see you kicked out of the Ministry for this. Preferably out of the country!" one of the cloaked figures hissed in such fury that Cornelius took several steps back.

But then he remembered that he actually owned a backbone and faced the figure to respond to the uncalled for attack, but before he could, Potter stirred with a groan.

"What happened? And did anyone get the name of the one flying that broomstick?"

"How are you feeling, Harry?" Dumbledore asked, giving the youth a concerned look.

"Like shit! What the hell happened? Great, what did the idiot do?" Potter asked when he noticed that he was glowing in a rather spectacular way.

"I fear that Cornelius attempted to tie you together with your soul mate, only..."

"Only the idiot messed up," Potter groused, giving the Minister a truly venomous look. One he could only have learned from Severus Snape.

"Now see here," Cornelius said, highly affronted at the way everyone was calling him an idiot all of a sudden. He was the Minister of Magic and as such he demanded some respect!

"The spell Cornelius attempted to cast was an abbreviation of the original soul mate spell. The original searched for a match between souls, this one also searches for a match between mind and magic. Harry has been bonded to not one but three living beings. I suppose it is fortunate that one of them is human. The last time this spell was cast, the youth in question was bonded with a Mermaid, a Vampire, and a Werewolf. It was not a happy match," Dumbledore said with a heavy sigh. "The poor boy ended up killing himself."

A shudder went through the Great Hall, and everyone turned to eye the two figures still hidden under black cloaks.

"Great!" Harry groaned, "just _great_. And just my luck! Honestly, can my life get any worse?" The teen sighed heavily and looked towards the ceiling as if he expected some higher being to give him an answer.

"So... I take it that this... thing can't be broken?" Harry eventually asked, still staring intently at the ceiling.

"I fear not, my boy. The binding goes too deep. Attempts to unravel the bond have caused irreparable damage to the mind of those involved," Dumbledore said, his voice heavy with regret.

Harry turned burning eyes on the aged Headmaster and magic began to crackle in the air. "So, I'm tied to Snape for the rest of my life. Wonderful. At least I don't feel a... romantic pull towards him. I'm guessing that the two of us are the mind part of the bond. Although how anyone can even think that we are matched in that department are beyond me," Harry muttered earning himself a snort from the Potions master.

"For the first time ever, I actually agree with you, Potter," Snape said sourly, looking highly displeased with his admission.

Harry snorted but did not comment. Instead he turned towards the two strangers and regarded them sombrely. "So... Which one of you is supposed to be my soul mate?" he asked with a defeated sigh.

The two figures shared a glance, and then the one to the left pulled down his hood, revealing a very disgruntled Lucius Malfoy. "I am," he ground out, sounding just as happy as Snape as he forced the words out.

"What? No bloody way!" a shout came from the Slytherin table, startling Harry into a laugh. "I guess I'm not the only one who's not happy about this revelation," Harry said, turning to look at a livid Draco.

Lucius merely sighed, not even bothering to admonish his son for his outburst. How could he, when he had thrown a similar tantrum himself once he had realised what was happening?

"Lovely, this is just... lovely," Harry said dryly, looking the blond up and down. "Well, I suppose it could be worse," he eventually said, running an agitated hand through his hair.

"How can you sat that?" Ron shouted, turning a lovely shade of red. "It's Snape and Malfoy! How can you stand there and be so... so bloody calm?"

"Would it make you feel better if I threw a tantrum?" Harry asked sardonically. "Besides, it isn't as if any of them are Voldemort. I actually expected him to be under that cloak," Harry added, pointing at Malfoy.

"I fear you spoke too soon, Potter," Voldemort said with a smirk, lowering the hood of his cloak.

The silence filling the Great Hall could be cut by a knife. Then someone screamed and pandemonium filled the room as the children and many of the teachers began to panic.

Harry just planted his face in his hands and fought the urge to laugh. He had a feeling that once he begun he would be unable to stop, and he simply did not have time to be hysterical at the moment. He would wait to break down until he was someplace private. Someplace private and with plenty of time, because Harry had a feeling it would be some time before he managed to pull himself together after this blow.

Deep in thought, Harry didn't even flinch when Dumbledore's wand emitted a mighty bang as the Headmaster ordered everyone to sit, calm down, and shut up. The aged wizard then turned towards his unexpected guests and then the shouting began.

Harry couldn't believe that he would have to be the voice of reason when he was surrounded by some of the most powerful wizards of the wizarding world. He was a fifteen year old kid for Merlin's sake! Why did it always befall him to fix other people's messes?

Unable to take any more of the disgusting debacle taking place before him, Harry took a deep breath and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Oh, do be quiet!" Earning himself a startled silence. Apparently no one had figured that he would dare to raise his voice to present company.

"You are all behaving like squabbling children," Harry said with a scowl, wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed and never wake up again. Or rather, wake up to find that this was all some _very_ weird dream that he never wanted to experience in real life.

"For once, Voldemort is blameless for this mess. If you are to blame someone, blame that bloody fool Fudge," Harry snapped, giving the Minister in question a dark glower.

"Now see here," Fudge blustered but he was easily cowed when Dumbledore, Snape, Malfoy, and Voldemort all bent their disapproving stare at him.

"No, _you_ see here!" Harry snarled, stalking menacingly towards the blubbering, bumbling, _idiot_ of a fool who had insisted on making Harry's life a living hell ever since the night of Voldemort's return. "Just because you are a weak-minded dunderhead who can't see past the end of his nose, you have meddled with things better left alone.

"What the hell were you trying to do anyway? Did you honestly think that you could make me shut up by threatening my soul mate? Hah! You did, didn't you?" Harry crooned in delight at the way Fudge squirmed, not to mention that the rosy blush along the man's non-existing cheekbones were a dead give away. "Well to bad for you that your plan didn't work. Good luck intimidating Lucius Malfoy," Harry managed to say before bursting into laughter, all but crawling on the floor in his hilarity.

Incensed, Fudge began to bluster and stutter, going on about his innocence and how it was all Harry's fault that his plan hadn't worked, since it wasn't _Cornelius'_ fault that Harry was contrary and refused to follow the plan.

Those words ended Harry laughter swifter than a cold bucket of water could. "Are you saying that this is _my_ fault?" Harry asked in a low, dangerous voice, unaware that his green eyes were flashing with power and emotions.

For once Fudge's fine honed self-preservation failed him as he glared angrily at the Boy Who Lived To Be Contrary and snapped, "Of course it is! You messed the spell up somehow, you must have, how else would we be in this mess? And who is expected to clean this disaster up? I am, and let me tell you young man, I-"

"Shut the bloody hell up!" Harry roared, effectively silencing Fudge, and everyone else in the room as well. "This is my fault? _My_ fault? How. Dare. You!" Harry hissed, so furious he had difficulty getting the words out. "You are the one using an outlawed artefact, bespelled by a forbidden spell you know nothing about I might add, and when things doesn't go your way you immediately blame everyone but yourself."

Harry gave Fudge a look of pure contempt, then he sneered. "This is so typical of you, Fudge, isn't it? You hide behind your title of Minister of Magic, expecting everyone to fall over backwards to do your biddings. You have sold yourself to the highest bidder, willing to follow any lead string as long as your pockets are lined heavily with gold. But this time you have gone too far and I will see that you pay for what you did."

"Now see here," Cornelius snapped, standing up straight while glaring down at Harry. "I am the Minister of Magic and my word is law. There is nothing you can do to me, little boy. Besides, what I did was for the greater good of the wizarding world. You have sown unsettlement by your outlandish claims, it was clear to me what my duty towards the people were-"

"What exactly _was_ your duty, Minister?" Snape asked, his voice silkier than usual, yet filled with such disdain it was surprising Fudge wasn't actually cut by the Potions master's words.

"To bring the boy to heel, of course," Cornelius said as if it was obvious what he had done and why.

"Bring the boy to heel," Harry snorted, his fury still running high. "You make me sound as if I was some deranged animal or something. So, Fudge, I've been spreading lies, have I? How was it you put it, been sowing unsettlement among the good wizards and witches?

"If I was lying, then how do you explain _him_?" Harry asked, pointing an accusing finger towards Lord Voldemort who had remained surprisingly silent so far.

Fudge cast a glance at the Dark Lord before dismissing him as unimportant. "How should I know who your friends are, Potter? Besides, who he is isn't important. What is important is the fact that Lucius Malfoy is your soul mate. Trust me, I can make things _very_ difficult for Lucius; I'm sorry my dear friend, but keeping Harry Potter in line is more important at this time than our longstanding friendship, I hope you can understand that and won't hold what I must do against me," Fudge said, giving Lucius an apologetic smile while trying to figure out what threat would work best against the influential blond.

Harry could only stare incredulous at Fudge before breaking down into a fit of giggles. "You are actually going to threaten Lucius Malfoy? Are you _completely_ stupid or what? Do you honestly think that Malfoy will stand for that? Or that Voldemort will allow you to live if you do that? Everyone knows that Malfoy are Voldemort's right hand man, you honestly believe that a threat to him will be allowed to live?" Harry could only shake his head in disbelief, how had this moron managed to become Minister of Magic anyhow?

"I'm sorry, Ron, but you will have to go through the Auror training on your own. There is no way in hell that I will ever work for the Ministry, I wouldn't want to risk catching whatever he's got. I do not fancy becoming that frighteningly stupid," Harry unexpectedly said, giving his friend an apologetic look while patting his shoulder.

"I understand, mate. In truth, I'm having second thoughts about joining the Ministry as well," Ron replied, giving Fudge the evil eye.

That was too much for Dolores Umbridge who rushed to her beloved Minister's rescue. "How dare you talk to so disrespectfully towards dear Cornelius? He is the Minister of Magic and as such demands your respect."

"Respect? It will be a cold day in hell before I respect that piece of-" Harry said only to be interrupted by an indignant shriek.

"Three months of detentions, Potter! Starting tonight, let's see how three hours of writing lines will change your tone of voice," Dolores said smugly.

Harry smirked. "Seeing as how you have yet managed to change my mind concerning Voldemort's return, I doubt you will manage to change my mind about respecting Cornelius Fudge any time soon.

"That reminds me... Professor Snape, are professors really allowed to torture their students during detentions?" Harry asked, turning towards Snape who was still glowing an intense blue.

"Explain!" Severus barked, not sure who deserved his ire the most, Potter or Fudge.

"Umbridge has been using this queer quill during her detentions. Whatever is written by it is carved into to the flesh of your own hand," Harry replied, holding out his hand as proof.

"Harry, why didn't you report this to one of your professors?" Dumbledore asked, rushing forward to inspect the proffered hand with a frown.

"Who was I supposed to report it to?" Harry asked with a shrug. "You have been ignoring me, and my Head of House told me to keep my head down and my mouth shut. So who was I supposed to report to?"

"I am so sorry, my boy, I fear that I have let you down most severely," Albus said with a sad sigh, letting go of Harry's hand so that Severus and Lucius could take a look as well.

"Hey Malfoy, is there anyway I can sue the Ministry? I mean, they have prosecuted me for daring to speak the truth, somehow I doubt that even the Ministry of Magic is allowed to torture its subjects just because they dare to speak an uncomfortable truth," Harry said, a decidedly Slytherin smirk gracing his lips.

"Now see here!" Fudge blustered, only to be cut off once again.

"No _you_ see here!" Harry snapped, finally at the end of his rope. "I refuse to put up with your bullshit any longer. Voldemort is back. Deal with it, you pathetic cry-baby. I have kept my mouth shut and done my best to keep my head down, not making waves, because that is what my professors asked me to do. But no more. _You_ started the smear campaign sullying my good name. _You_ appointed that bitch to teach defence, which, by the way, she isn't doing, making _you_ responsible for her actions.

"Rest assured, I _will_ have my revenge on you, you weak-minded _fool_. I will not rest until you have been kicked out of office, and preferably destitute and stripped of your home and fortune as well," Harry spat, never noticing that his magic was rising along with his temper until two hands landed on his shoulders causing him to jump in surprise.

"Calm down, Mr Potter, before you bring the entire castle crashing down around our ears," Snape snapped irritably, giving the boy a dark look for good measure.

Taking a few deep breaths, Harry did his best to get his temper back under control.

"Do not worry, Mr Potter, Fudge will be dealt with, this I can assure you. You are a part of the Malfoy family now, and no one is allowed to harm a Malfoy, no one," Lucius said silkily, his gaze firmly planted on Fudge the entire time he was speaking.

Fudge gulped, having no trouble reading the promises of pain and humiliating in silver eyes turned to an icy steel grey making it abundantly clear just what Lucius Malfoy felt about the current Minister of Magic.

Remembering his plan, Cornelius nervously wetted his lips and one last attempt to regain the upper level in this power struggle.

"I believe you forget who it is you are talking to," Fudge said, his voice trembling only a little. "I am the Minister of Magic, and as such it is a death penalty to threaten me." Gaining confidence as he was reminded of that fact, Cornelius regained his superiority and continued almost cheerfully, "As I said before, I can make your life _most_ difficult, being bonded to Harry Potter will not help you, and do not think that you can scare me by producing a fake You Know Who. Honestly, did you really think that you could scare me with that... that thing?" Cornelius asked, giving Voldemort a look filled with contempt.

"Ho boy, he's dead now," Harry said with a longsuffering sigh, not feeling particularly sorry for the fate that was about to befall Fudge.

"You dare to call me a fake?" Voldemort asked incredulously. "You dare to dismiss me as something unimportant? Let's see how you will dismiss this, shall we? _Crucio!_"

"Tom! Stop!" Dumbledore shouted, summoning a chair and sending it crashing into the Dark Lord, effectively ending the spell. Unfortunately, that act turned Voldemort's ire to him instead.

"You dare to interrupt me?" Voldemort hissed menacingly, causing the students to start screaming and crying.

"Enough!" Harry snapped, grabbing hold of Voldemort's arm, effectively derailing the brewing argument. "You can argue about who has the bigger balls later. There are more pressing matters to discuss first," Harry stated with authority.

"Such as?" Snape asked in amusement, starting to find the entire situation humorous. Who would have guessed that Harry Potter had the gall to go against two of the most powerful wizards of their time?

"I want to know about that spell Fudge cast. Can it be broken? What does it mean for us if it can't? Just what exactly is it meant to do? Once we have dealt with that we can discuss ways to get back at that idiot," Harry said carelessly, nodding his head towards the pile sobbing piteously on the floor.

"HARRY!" several voices cried out in union. Harry ignored them.

"Let's take our discussion to a place more private, shall we?" Harry asked, already heading towards the nearest door.

"An excellent idea. Why don't we relocate to my office?" Dumbledore said, desperate to regain control of a rapidly deteriorating situation.

Harry merely snorted and went on walking, not caring to see who was following, just needing to get the hell out of there before he broke down completely. He had no idea what to do now, how to get out of the mess he had landed in this time. All he knew was that he would be damned if he allowed Albus Dumbledore to rule his actions. Not this time.

Sharing a look, the three Slytherins mentally shrugged their shoulders and followed the teen, curious to see what he planned to do next.

Dumbledore frowned in displeasure but followed as well, already planning on how to turn the situation to his favour. Hopefully, they'd be able to end the war before it started up again. Tom and Lucius would not follow his lead meekly. Fortunately, he had both Severus and Harry in his corner. His two boys would ensure that the others followed his will, bowing down to his rule. Smiling brightly, Albus began to plot how to bring about the changes their world so desperately needed, never realising that his tools were not in the mood to conform to his wishes.


	2. The Consequences Of Fudge's Fudge

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Cornelius Fudge or any of the other inhabitants of the Harry Potter universe

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_02 The Consequences Of Fudge's Fudge_

"Where are we going?" Lucius asked when it became apparent that they were not heading for the Headmaster's office.

"To a place where we can talk in private," Harry replied, not stopping until he was standing before a certain blank wall. Pacing back and forth three times, Harry focused on his need of a comfortable place that was absolutely private, one that Dumbledore couldn't enter. Harry really wasn't in the mood to listen to the old man's waffling at the moment.

When the door appeared, Harry grasped hold of the handle and opened the door with a flourish, gesturing for the others to enter, smirking viciously when Dumbledore bounced back on an invisible force field.

"Harry?" Albus asked, confused as to why he couldn't enter.

"You have had plenty of opportunity to approach me, Headmaster, yet you never have. You only speak in riddles, doling out small pieces of knowledge but never truly divulging anything useful until the latest mess is over. I think I can do without that kind of help this time. Besides, this is a private matter between me, Snape, Malfoy, and Riddle. I can't really see how this situation is any of your business. I suggest you head back to the Great Hall and deal with Fudge and his sociopath, because my promise was not an empty threat. I will do everything within my power to ruin that toady, and my powerbase just became that more powerful, don't you agree?" Harry asked sweetly before entering the Room of Requirement, firmly closing the door in Dumbledore's face.

"So..." Harry said with a sigh while walking towards one of the comfortable looking leather armchairs the room had provided. "What happens now?"

"An excellent question, Mr Potter," Severus said silkily, eyeing the teen thoughtfully. How in Merlin's name could anyone claim that the brat was on par with his own vast intellect? Everyone knew that Potter would have failed all of his classes if it wasn't for Granger forcing him to study.

"You might as well call me Harry," Harry said with another sigh.

"As you wish, Harry," Lucius stated. "Unfortunately, there is very little the four of us _can_ do. The spell Fudge used cannot be broken by anything but death, and even that is not a certainty."

"Oh?" Harry asked in curiosity, wondering just what _that_ meant.

"In the past, several victims of the spell did not find the result pleasing and decided to end their own life to get out of the unfavourable bonding. They died, but they did not pass on but had to live out the rest of their bonded's life as a ghost."

"Ouch," Harry muttered, secretly vowing that if things got _that_ bad he'd make sure to end the others' lives instead of his own. Living with ghosts had to be better than to become one, right?

"What troubles me is that Fudge got the bracelet he used from the Department of Mysteries," Lucius went on, unaware of his companion's thoughts.

"I take it that is bad?" Harry asked dryly, not sure what to feel at this point.

"If the bracelet had merely been bespelled with the soul and magic binding spell as Fudge claimed, then there would be no reason for the Unspeakables to study the bracelet."

"Wonderful, so you think that something was added to the spell? Or that it was twisted in some way or other?" Harry asked, glaring balefully at the innocent looking bracelet adorning his wrist. "Can I take it off now? Or will I have to wear it for the rest of my life?"

"Let me see," Severus ordered, pulling out his wand. Grabbing hold of the brat's hand, being careful not to actually touch the thing, Severus cast every diagnostic and detection charm he knew, making room for Lucius and Voldemort to cast a few of those he didn't know.

"It should be safe to remove," Lucius finally said, releasing Harry's hand as he spoke.

"Great!" Harry exclaimed cheerfully, struggling to undo the clasp, wanting to get rid of it _now_.

In the end Snape had to help him unlocked the bracelet, but Harry didn't care as he rubbed his freed wrist. "Can I burn it?" Harry asked, nodding towards the hated thing.

"We should study it first. It does not pay to act rashly like a Gryffindor. Although I suppose it is too much to hope for you to grasp such unfamiliar reasoning," Lucius said, deliberately sending a barb calculated to infuriate the boy, leaving him off balanced, enabling the others to keep the upper hand during the forthcoming negations.

Harry merely scoffed. "Please, do not bother resorting to childish insults. I would have expected that from Ron and Draco. _Not_ from you."

Lucius arched an eyebrow but did not otherwise comment.

Voldemort did it for him. "Do you honestly believe that you are capable of outwitting the three of us?" the Dark Lord ask sardonically, the look somewhat spoiled by the fact that he didn't have any eyebrows to arch scornfully at Harry.

Harry merely snorted and returned the look, _with_ the arched eyebrows. "I might not be able to completely outwit you, but I'd say I'm way ahead of both Malfoy and you if we bothered to score our various confrontations," Harry said, feeling rather justified using a somewhat smug tone of voice.

"Why you little brat!" Voldemort growled, reaching for his wand.

"Oh do put that away," Harry snapped, giving Tom a dark look. "Look, we'll get nowhere if we keep snapping and insulting each other. Fudge put us in this situation; for once all four of us are innocent of any wrongdoing. My suggestion is that we work together to bring that fool to his knees, teaching him, and everyone else, just what a bad idea it is to mess with us.

"Or do you _want_ Dumbledore to take charge, using this mess to further his own agenda? I don't know about you, but I can honestly say that Dumbledore hasn't bothered overly much to care for me in the past. I somehow doubt he will start now when faced with this... disaster," Harry said, giving his companions a pointed look. Merlin, he hoped that the three Slytherins wouldn't be difficult about this. Seriously, they couldn't expect him to be the only one acting like an adult, could they? So far the three had reminded him of Ron when faced with a sneering Draco. Merlin help him, but he _refused_ to put up with that. Hey, maybe he could hide out in the Chamber of Secrets or something? No one had said anything about them having to stay in close contact. Maybe he could hide out for a few years until things had settled down a bit?

"Honestly, Potter, use your head, for once in your life. You cannot hide out in Slytherin's chamber. The spell will force us to spend several hours each day together or risk the consequences," Severus snapped, sounding rather disgruntled.

"Hey, no one said anything about that!" Harry complained. Then he got a confused look on his face. "And just how did you know what I was thinking anyway?"

"I'm guessing the mind bond is forming," Lucius said with an amused snort.

"What? Do you mean that that snarky git will be able to hear my every thought?" Harry yelped, looking decidedly green. But then he got a crafty look on his face, sending the Potions master a sly look.

"Don't you even think of doing that, Potter!" Severus bit out through gritted teeth, giving the teen a murderous look.

"What is he planning to do?" Voldemort asked, torn between amusement and intrigue. This was a side of Harry Potter he had not expected.

"Oh, nothing much, just sharing a few fantasies, perhaps a few lewd jokes, not to mention my favourite songs," Harry said nonchalantly, sitting back in his chair with a studious air.

Severus snorted and sent the teen another dark look, having caught a gist of the things the boy intended to torture him with.

"Clearly the spell is faulty. I refuse to believe that Potter is sharing my level of intellect. The boy is a walking disaster when it comes to Potions-"

"No, the walking disaster is Neville. And if you had bothered to actually teach me instead of berating me for daring to breathe, I might have had a chance to excel in Potions, but you couldn't have that, could you? Too busy taking out your hatred for my father to bother to realise that I am my own person," Harry snarled, feeling his temper rising once more as he recalled all the incidents Snape had initiated just so that he could torment him some more.

"Enough! The child is correct, this will get us nowhere," Lucius stated commandingly before a fight could break out between Severus and Potter. No matter how galling the situation was, they actually needed Potter to cooperate with them, or their lives for the immediate future would be decidedly uncomfortable and probably miserable as well.

Harry glowered darkly but reluctantly backed down, knowing the truth of Malfoy's words, hadn't he just pointed that out to the others? But it didn't mean that he was willingly giving up the opportunity to make his feelings known to the other man. Merlin help him, but if Snape put one more toe out of line, then Harry was going to blast him but good, just as soon as he'd figured out how to do that deliberately.

"So... what happens now?" Harry asked when the silence in the room began to feel oppressive. "Apparently we can't break the spell, and on top of that, if what Snape said is true, we will have to spend time together as well. So what do we do? And what do we do with the war?"

"The war is already won so there is little point worrying about it," Voldemort said with a negligent wave of his hand.

"How do you figure that?" Harry asked with a frown, not sure he liked the smug air he was picking up from Riddle.

"Simple, you are my main opposition and since we have been bound together, I have won," Tom said with satisfaction.

"Huh, I wouldn't be so sure about that," Harry said darkly, not about to allow the Dark Lord to just walk all over him.

"That reminds me, just what is it you wish to accomplish anyway?" Harry asked, deciding now was the golden opportunity to find out why the war was fought, something that none of the adults had been able to explain to him the few times he'd asked them. Funny, but the members of the Order was always too busy to answer questions like that, sending him away with a pat on the head and an admonish not to worry about it since Dumbledore had everything well in hand.

"Oh, this is priceless," Voldemort cackled with glee. "You mean to tell me that Dumbledore never told his golden boy why he fights in the war? Oh, Salazar and his ancestors, you, the child of prophecy, don't have a clue why you are fighting me?" Voldemort was now laughing so hard that he couldn't go on speaking, which was probably a good thing as Harry's temper once again had ignited.

"What prophecy?" Harry asked through gritted teeth.

Voldemort was now howling with laughter and was thus unable to answer him, not that he planned on doing that since it was so much more fun taunting the teen.

"What prophecy?" Harry demanded, thoroughly pissed off.

"What bloody prophecy?" Harry shouted, jumping to his feet, shooting off a few hexes at the still laughing Dark Lord who abruptly stopped laughing.

"How dare you hex me? Have you any idea who I am?" Voldemort shouted, brandishing his wand at the infuriating brat who _dared_ to defy him.

"I know who you are, _Tom_," Harry snapped. "Your younger self was _very_ happy to share his life story. You were an arrogant git as a teenager, weren't you? But that doesn't answer my question of why you are fighting this war."

Tom glowered at the teen for his insolence, but did not protest when Lucius placed a calming hand on his arm, slowly lowering his glowing wand.

With eyes shooting daggers, Voldemort all but snarled, "I am fighting this war to cleanse away the taint the Mudbloods have put on the magical world. Salazar Slytherin realised the danger the Muggles and the Muggleborns posed to our world and set about to free us from their influence. Sadly, the other Founders stopped him, but once I realised what noble blood run through my veins, I knew, _knew_, what my duty was and I have done my best to carry on my forefathers wishes," Voldemort said with an almost fanatical gleam in his red eyes.

Harry could only stand there and stare at the Dark Lord, not sure what illogical statement he wanted to reply to first.

Interpreting Harry's silence as the boy struck dumb by his brilliance, Tom went on to extrapolate his visions. "Once I have rid us of all Mudbloods and Blood traitors, I will venture forth with my trusty followers and eradicate from this earth all the Muggles who dare to threaten our way of life. We are far superior to those insignificant creatures and we should not have to hide from them. We should walk among them like gods, not skulk in the dark, afraid of our own shadows," Tom declared hotly. "I will eradicate them all! I shall-"

"Set yourself up as king, I get the picture. And you _actually_ believe that that is possible? Are you _insane_?" Harry demanded, giving the Dark Lord an incredulous look. "Hello! Do you even know how many people, how many Muggles live in Great Britain alone? More than fifty _millions_, and you actually think that you will be able to kill them all off? What dream world do you live in? And you _actually_ support this idiot?" Harry asked Lucius, turning incredulous eyes onto the blond. "I honestly thought you were smarter than that," Harry added under his breath, shaking his head in despair, unable to comprehend why anyone would willingly fight for such a goal.

"How dare you call me an idiot, Potter? Have you any idea what a pitiful state the magical world has fallen into thanks to the Mudbloods, the blood traitors, and the influences they have insisted bringing into our world? Influences and ideas that do not belong here! We are wizards! We come from noble lines such as Slytherin, Merlin and Morgan, yet every year we grow fewer and fewer in number. Thanks to the Mudbloods and the half-bloods, the number of Purebloods grows less and less for every year, and you expect me to just sit back and watch as the magical world is destroyed? Just who is the fool here?" Voldemort demanded, once more brandishing his wand at Potter.

Harry could only stand there and shake his head, unable to utter a single sound as his mind raced with half-formed words of utter disbelief.

With a groan, Harry collapsed back into his seat, throwing an arm across his eyes as he moaned piteously, "Great, my magical match is a moron. Is there anyway you can ask the magic to redo the search?"

Voldemort growled and readied himself to cast a spell, taking delight in choosing something _nasty_.

"Stop that," Lucius ordered, taking his life in his hands by grabbing Riddle's wand and wrestling it from the Dark Lord's hand.

"You dare...?" Voldemort hissed, standing tall and proud as he glared at the unrepentant blond.

"I dare plenty when you are behaving irrationally," Lucius retorted coldly, giving Tom a push in an attempt to get the man to sit back down.

"Ever since you've come back you have been behaving irrationally and illogically. I'm starting to think that you made a mistake using Pettigrew for the ritual. Clearly, the snivelling fool managed to foul up the ritual somehow."

"He probably did," Harry piped up, adding his five Knuts to the discussion. "But if you ask me, I'm guessing drinking all that Unicorn blood is what messed him up. According to Firenze, anyone drinking Unicorn life is cursed, forced to live but a half life or something like that.

"And I ask again, is it possible to demand of the bracelet that it makes a new search? Because, as unlikely as me and Snape being equals is, I simply refuse to believe that that idiot and I are equals magically," Harry stated firmly, giving Riddle another glowering look.

"Unicorn blood? You drank Unicorn blood? Are you _insane_?" Lucius burst out in fury while Severus snapped, "The spell has run its course and there is nothing anyone of us can do about it. Live with it, Potter!"

"Okay, things are getting out of hand, _again_," Harry all but shouted, effectively ending the building shouting match brewing between Malfoy and Riddle.

"Right. We are stuck together, established fact number one. We do not agree upon the reasons as to why this war is fought, established fact number two," Harry said, pacing back and forth as he attempted to get his mind in order, feeling thankful that none of the others were trying to interrupt him, unaware that the room had decided to help him by silencing the Dark Lord so that he couldn't add anymore fuel to the fire.

"Voldemort has cursed himself by killing Unicorns and drinking their blood, established fact number three. And thanks to Fudge I'm stuck with you lot, leaving me to clean up the mess you have created. Established fact number four," Harry said making a sour face.

"It isn't just Fudge," Severus said in a quiet voice. "There is the matter of the prophecy."

"What prophecy? And why haven't I heard about it before now?" Harry asked, giving Snape a piercing look.

"Albus wanted to spare you and give you the chance to have a normal childhood before placing the weight of the wizarding world on your shoulders. I don't know what the entire prophecy says, but the first part goes like this." Clearing his throat, Severus recited the lines that had sealed Lily's fate.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies..."

Severus' voice trailed off and an uncomfortable silence filled the room as Harry stood there, stunned stupid for a second time this day.

"That's _it_?" Harry asked incredulous once he regained the use of his voice. "My parents were killed and I've been put through hell for _that_?

"And you are following this idiot why again...?" Harry asked, turning unbelieving eyes onto the only blond in the room, causing Malfoy to actually squirm slightly.

"He wasn't that bad at the start of the war," Lucius murmured, fighting down the urge to blush. Merlin, but he hadn't felt this stupid since the time when he was seven and thought it a good idea to 'borrow' his father's brand new racing broom.

Harry simply shook his head and resumed his pacing, doing his best to wrap his mind around this latest catastrophe masquerading as his life.

"Okay. Right! I can deal with this," Harry muttered to himself, making another circuit around the room. "Right! This entire mess began with Tom Riddle and his insane urge to fulfil his forefather's wishes. The trouble is that Salazar Slytherin is dead. He's been dead for a thousand years, so just how did Riddle discover what Slytherin's wishes were? Did he leave a diary behind? Or...?" Harry asked, turning his attention back to Tom, doing a double take as he realised that the feared Lord Voldemort was sulking, sitting in his chair, arms folded across his chest, and with an honest-to-Merlin _pout_ on his lips.

Shaking his head, Harry suppressed his urge to scream. "Argh! If there only was some way we could ask him what his bloody wishes were," Harry groaned, burying his hands in his hair, giving it a good tug.

"Someone wants to speak to me?" a voice asked, causing the four humans to jump in fright and drawing their wands. Everyone but Riddle since Lucius was still in possession of his wand.

"Who are you?" Harry asked, peering up at the portrait that had suddenly materialised in the room. "Oh, of course, Room of Requirement... You're Salazar Slytherin, aren't you?" Harry asked weakly, feeling rather shaky all of a sudden.

A light appeared in Severus' eyes and he moved smoothly towards the painting, bowing deeply before it saying, "Lord Slytherin, Founder of Slytherin House, I greet you with gladness. I am Severus Snape, current Head of your noble House. If you could find it in your heart to accommodate me, I would _love_ to discuss Potions with you."

"Potions, eh? And do you have any skill in this science? I do not bother to talk to amateurs. I have found them to be incompetent dunderheads who are completely unable to grasp the elegance that is Potions-"

By this point Harry was unable to contain his mirth and broke down in a peal of laughter.

"You find this amusing, child?" Salazar asked, arching an eyebrow at Harry.

"My apologies, Lord Slytherin, but to hear you talk about dunderheads like that, it brought me back to my very first Potions lesson. Snape kept going on about dunderheads as well, and our incompetence at grasping the subtle magic that is a simmering cauldron," Harry managed to gasp out between his giggles.

"I can assure you that Severus is most competent when it comes to Potions. He is the youngest person to achieve the rank of master in Britain, if not the entire world," Lucius said cut in an attempt to smooth ruffled feathers. "But it was not to discuss Potions that we wished to meet you," the blond added, giving the Potion maser a pointed look.

"You are quite correct," Severus said demurely, giving Lucius a nasty look for interrupting his chance at learning more about his first love.

"Youngest Potions master, eh? Yes, I think I will make the time for a discussion or two. If only to find out what progress has been made since my time," Salazar said thoughtfully, eyeing Snape with a discerning eye.

"Great. That's wonderful," Harry said, clasping his hands together with forced cheer. "But what we really needed to talk to you about is your view on Muggles and Muggleborns."

As one the three living Slytherins groaned in despair, Severus going so far as to pinch his nose and hiss, "Show some respect, you insufferable child! Fifty points from Gryffindor and a week of detentions. Let's see if Filch can put a civil tongue in that empty head of yours!"

"Hey! No need to be nasty," Harry said petulantly, feeling surprisingly hurt at Snape's attitude. "We need to learn Slytherin's thoughts so that we can slap some sense into Riddle. Or do you want to go out and slaughter millions of innocent lives?" Harry demanded, starting to get angry again.

"I think you should tell me why my opinion is so important," Salazar said, making himself comfortable, sensing that a lengthy tale was forthcoming.

Pulling himself up importantly, Tom all but puffed out his chest as he began to tell his story, Hogwarts relenting enough to lift the spell she had put on Riddle earlier.

oOo

"You honestly thought that by _murdering_ students you would make me _proud_?" Salazar all but shouted, glaring daggers at a confused looking Dark Lord. "Are you utterly daft, man?"

"But... But, they were nothing but Mudbloods, unworthy of the gift of magic," Riddle stuttered, unable to grasp that his forefather was not proud of his actions.

"Listen to yourself! Are you so arrogant that you honestly believe that you can judge the actions of the Mistress?" Salazar bellowed before taking note of the men's confused looks.

"You do know about the Mistress, don't you? Of course you do, you are wizards, are you not?" Salazar muttered, pacing back and forth in his painting.

"Um, I don't," Harry said, tentatively raising his hand. "I grew up in the Muggle world, living with magic hating Muggles, so I never learned whatever it is that Purebloods learn growing up. And no one has mentioned a Mistress to me while I've been here at Hogwarts, so, um, no, I don't know of any Mistress," Harry said, blushing hotly at the time he reached the end of his ramblings.

"I can't believe it. I bloody well cannot believe what I am hearing," Salazar muttered, throwing his hands up in despair. "How is it possible that the wizarding world has fallen to such a sorry state? No wonder you've lost most of your magic, Magic would _never_ give her support to a people who no longer believed in her. And you, you dare to speak for her? You actually dare to decide who should be granted the gift of magic and who shouldn't? How is that you yet haven't been struck down for your arrogance?" Slytherin demanded to know.

"You talk as if magic is sentient, but magic is just a gift, a... power," Lucius said with a puzzled frown.

"I'm not talking about the power flowing through our veins. I'm talking about the deity that grants us our powers. I'm talking about _Magic_, you ignorant buffoon!" Salazar said with an impatient huff, forcing Harry to bite back a snicker at the insulted look appearing on Malfoy's face. Who'd have thought that meeting Salazar Slytherin would be this entertaining? For the briefest of moments, Harry felt sad that Ron and Hermione were missing this fundamental moment.

Sadly, Ron would only make an explosive situation worse, what with his blatant hatred for anything Slytherin, and Hermione would probably be too focused on learning everything she could to help resolve the matters that threatened to bury Harry alive. Merlin, but why did everything have to happen to him? Why couldn't someone else deal with these bizarre situations once in a while?

"Okay, so Magic is alive. Is there anyway to learn more about her? Or is it possible to talk to her?" Harry asked speculatively, secretly wondering if there was a painting of her or something that the Room of Requirement could bring to them. If Hogwarts was capable of producing a painting of Salazar Slytherin, what else was she capable of? Suddenly, Harry was filled with an urge to learn as much as he could about the castle he secretly called home. Perhaps it was time to actually read _Hogwarts: A History_? Hermione certainly seemed to enjoy it, or why would she be constantly quoting from it?

Tuning back into the argument between Slytherin and the Slytherins, Harry bit back sigh, fighting the urge to hex the humans, did they have to bloody _argue_ so much? Malfoy was displeased at begin called a buffoon, Snape was more interested in discussing Potions than resolving the matter with the war, and Riddle was furious that the efforts he'd done in his ancestor's name was unappreciated. Honestly, the lot was acting like _children_. And Salazar was _not_ helping. On the contrary, the portrait seemed to gain an inordinate amount of amusement by egging the three wizards on, insulting them right, left, and centre. How was he supposed to get any answers now?

_Call me._

Harry frowned and shook his head, uncertain if the words whispered in his mind was real or merely a figment of his poor, overworked brain.

_Call me, I mean you no harm, my child._

"Okay, I'll bite, how do I call you?" Harry asked softly, wondering if he had finally dropped off into insanity. And would he even notice if he had?

_Make an offering and I shall appear._

Harry frowned, confused. That was it? Make an offering? An offering of what? Well, Harry wasn't about to offer his soul, nor his unborn first child, so...

_Silly, child, I do not wish for any such things. No, give me a taste of what already is mine._

"What already is mine?" Harry mused in a soft whisper, not wanting the others to overhear him, yet unable to work this latest riddle out silently.

Starting to pace, Harry considered everything Salazar had told them about Magic, which, admittedly, wasn't much. Then realisation hit him. "I'm not talking about the power flowing through our veins. I'm talking about the deity that grants us our powers." Harry whispered, recalling just exactly what Slytherin had told them. "Give me a taste of what is already mine, of course, that's it."

Not stopping to think, Harry used his wand to make a shallow cut in his arm, just above the wrist, taking care not to get too close to any of the large veins. "Here, I hope you will find this satisfactory," Harry said, holding out his bleeding arm.

"What are you doing?" Snape shouted, stalking towards Harry, his wand in hand, healing spells trembling on his lips. But before he could do anything to heal the cut, a bright light flared to life and when it had died down, a beautiful woman was standing before them.

"Mistress! Too long has it been since I set my eyes upon you. Greetings and salutations, and may the leylines run strong through the earth," Salazar said, bowing deeply before the woman, sounding a bit as if he was greeting a long-time friend, and greeting a dignitary of utmost importance at the same time. Harry couldn't help but admire the way the founder pulled it off.

"Salazar, my old friend, long has it been since last we talked. You are looking good. Then again, I always did like that painting," Magic said, sending Slytherin a fond smile. Turning back to Harry, Magic grasped his arm and inhaled deeply while dipping her finger in the blood still flowing from the small cut.

"Ah, yes, you are indeed worthy of the gifts I bestowed upon you at birth, Harry James Potter. Still, it saddens me to see how poorly the mortals have treated you. But what is this? Who dared to curse you?" Magic asked, sounding outraged.

"Um, cu-cursed?" Harry stuttered, his mind racing over the many times he had been hit with something nasty. Which time was Magic asking about?

"You! You dared to harm him?" Magic asked, turning towards Riddle with a snarl. The snarl swiftly grew to complete fury as she got a good look at Tom Riddle, the current Dark Lord. "Sweet Gaia, what have you _done_ to yourself? How dare you befoul my gift to you by creating such vile things? And seven of them? What were you thinking? And then what do you do? You compound your sin to me by drinking _Unicorn blood_? I was prepared to help you since my sweet child has been cursed, but I refuse to help _you,_" Magic stated, an ugly sneer distorting her features.

"There is nothing you can do to me. I am Lord Voldemort, and everyone is made to tremble before me!" Voldemort stated importantly. He would have gone on a lengthy rant, but before he could, Magic slashed her hand through the air and Voldemort dissolved into a black mist that hung in the air. Magic's sneer deepened as she called forth a wind and a moment later nothing was left of either Tom Riddle or Lord Voldemort.

"I'm sorry, Salz, I know he was of your blood, but-"

"Say no more. Learning of the things he has done in my name... Let us just say that I would have disowned him if I could have. But what about the lad? Won't he be harmed now that his magical mate is gone?"

"Hardly," Magic stated with a toss of her head. "I will not allow any harm to befall my child. I do take better care of my charges than that, you should know that, Salz," Magic said, giving the painting a reproachful look.

"My deepest apologies, Mistress, for daring to doubt you," Salazar said with a deep bow.

"Am I the only one confused?" Harry asked, wondering what had just happened, and what he was supposed to do now. Riddle was gone? For good?

"Now we will straighten out the mess the mortals of this realm has made of your life, and then we will sit down and get to know each other better," Magic said with an impish smile, settling down into a beautiful throne like chair that appeared from thin air.

"Um, okay," Harry said, allowing Magic to pull him down into the chair that suddenly appeared next to the throne.

"I see that you have taken good care of the powers I bestowed upon you, although I must admit it is a miracle you still have any magic, considering the atrocities you have lived through. And just what _have_ you done to have Phoenix tears and Basilisk venom running through your veins?" Magic asked, returning her attention to the cut on Harry's arm.

"Well... you see... there was this monster, and," Harry stuttered, feeling completely out of his dept. How were you supposed to act when a deity took such intimate interest in you anyway?

"Hush, child, I am not angry with you, never with you," Magic said soothingly, bringing a bloody finger to her mouth, licking it clean.

Harry could only blink as Magic's eyes grew unfocused and the deity grew utterly still. Somehow he didn't think that this was a good thing.

oOo

Taking a deep breath, Magic returned to the present, tossing her hair back with a shake of her head. "Now that was unpleasant. Do not worry, child, I will make sure retribution is visited on those who has earned my wrath. But first we need to deal with the curse placed upon you by that creature Fudge."

"Curse?" Harry asked, perking up a little. Magic had gotten rid of Riddle, maybe she could free him from Snape and Malfoy as well?

"Yes, the bracelet Fudge used on you was cursed," Magic explained, summoning the artefact to her with a wave of her hand. Looking it over, Magic sneered and crushed it in her fist. "What a vile way to use my gift, the creator is lucky he is already dead; I would have taken such _delight_ in teaching him not to waste my gifts.

"Anyway, as I was saying, the bracelet was cursed. Instead of searching for the best possible match between soul, mind, and magic, the bracelet twisted the spell so that it still sought for the best match of soul, mind, and magic possible, but making sure that it only looked among those feeling ill will towards the one wearing the bracelet. It really was most insidious, and I am glad that it no longer exists," Magic stated, losing herself in her thoughts for a moment. "Perhaps I should bring the creator back? I think I would feel better if I got the chance to teach that arrogant fool a lesson or two...

"No matter, I can ponder what to do later. First, I need to fix this mess," Magic said decisively, giving the three mortals an assessing look-over.

"Hah! I knew Potter wasn't a match for my mind," Severus stated smugly, settling back in his chair with a self-satisfied air.

"On the contrary, he is every bit as smart as you are, Severus Tobias Prince Snape, so do not think yourself more than he," Magic said reproachfully, ignoring the way the Potions master spluttered at her words.

"As much as I hate to say this, but Snape is right," Harry said, squirming uncomfortably in his seat. He didn't like to contradict a deity, or whatever it was that Magic was, but he honestly couldn't allow this charade to continue either, because he wasn't as smart as Snape was, no matter his earlier argument with the snarky git.

"Of course you are, child, just not with Potions," Magic said, patting Harry's hand. "That you do not realise this I blame on your disgusting relatives. But do not worry, my child, all will be put to right," Magic said soothingly and patted Harry's hand some more.

Harry opened his mouth, but realising a doomed argument he closed it again with a resigned sigh.

"Good. Let us get back to the matter of the curse, shall we?" Magic said, bestowing the three mortals with a brilliant smile.

"Can it be broken?" Lucius asked, not feeling particularly eager sharing the Dark Lord's fate.

"Alas, it cannot. It can, however, be modified, which I shall do as soon as we have finished our conversation."

"But what about the prophecy? Has it been fulfilled now, or will Riddle be back to haunt me later?" Harry asked, his emotions reeling. He had been cursed? Bonded to those who hated him? How was he supposed to live like this? And what about the prophecy? He couldn't believe that Dumbledore hadn't said anything about it earlier.

...Actually, Harry could.

"Posh, do not worry your little head about that piece of nonsense, it has fulfilled its use, although I will have a world with Albus about the way he has treated you," Magic said, a dark frown sweeping across her features.

"What did the prophecy say?" Lucius asked curiously. He had known a prophecy existed, of course, but he had never been told just what exactly it said.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord shall mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..." Magic recited, a pleased smile playing on her lips. "The Fates really did a good job on that one, one of their better attempts if you ask me."

"What is the power?" Harry asked, his mind numb.

"Me."

"...Huh?" Harry managed to utter, unable to more than staring at Magic with his mouth hanging open.

Magic lent forward and gently closed his jaw. "I am the power the Dark Lord knows not," she explained gently.

"But... I don't know that power either," Harry said, utterly bewildered.

Magic waved the protest aside with a flick of her wrist. "That is neither here nor there."

"But..." Harry spluttered, not sure whether to feel insulted or not.

"Where does it say that you know this power? All that matters to the prophecy is that Tom Riddle didn't know the power. It really doesn't matter whether anyone else knew of it or not," Magic stated loftily, causing Slytherin to double over with laughter.

"That's a good one," the Slytherin founder managed to splutter once he got his breath back, wiping away the tears spilling down his cheeks. "I always did enjoy your twisted sense of humour, Mistress."

"Yes, you always were a favourite child of mine, Salz," Magic said, bestowing upon the painting a fond look.

"So the prophecy has been fulfilled? Even if it was you who defeated him and not me?" Harry asked, wanting to make sure that part of the nightmare was over.

"The prophecy was already fulfilled," Magic said, giving Harry's hand another pat.

"It was?" three astonished wizards asked more or less in chorus.

"Of course. Harry vanquished the Dark Lord the night his parents died. Tom Riddle was meant to die that night. But because he had split his soul and anchored it to this plane, he did not die. He became an abomination to nature, and tonight I got rid of it, making sure that he never again can return to this plane of existence."

Harry felt an urge to ask where Voldemort was now, but he fought it down, not sure he wanted to know the answer. The knowing smile Magic sent him caused Harry to shudder and vow to _never_ ask that question. And to _never, ever_ do anything that would make Magic displeased with him.

"Enough of this boring stuff. Unless you have any questions, I better get this mess straightened out," Magic said briskly, leaping to her feet, an expectant look on her face.

Severus and Lucius shared a glance. They were both bursting with questions, but self-preservation kept their tongues behind their teeth. Potter obviously held Magic's favour, and neither man wished to do anything that would pull down her wrath. They had a feeling that if that happened, neither of them would survive. Bowing their heads, they did nothing to prevent their fates. They could only hope that they would live through whatever Magic had planned. If they were truly lucky, they might even prosper from it, but neither Slytherin held much hope for that.

"Good, let's go then, boys. Salz, I'll make sure to visit you later once my boy is secure and happy," Magic said, wrapping the three mortals up in her power, removing them from Hogwarts, and from the mortal realm altogether.

"I'm looking forward to seeing you again, Mistress, it truly has been too long," Salazar said softly as his portrait slowly left the Room of Requirement, leaving an empty room before it too melted away.


	3. All Hail The King

**Disclaimer:** Alas, Harry Potter and his world is not mine.

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_03 All Hail The King_

"Harry, it's time, love," a soft, surprisingly deep and smooth voice said.

"Yeah, I know, but you have to admit that it is somewhat amusing watching them argue among themselves like that," Harry mused, watching the Wizengamot descend into chaos.

In the middle of the storm was Dumbledore and Fudge. And boy did the old goat tear wide strips off the bumbling fool this time. _Too bad that it is too little too late_, Harry thought amused, _although it is entertaining to see that shade of red on the Headmaster's face. Until now I've only seen that colour on Uncle Vernon._

Standing around the combatants were the remaining members of the Wizengamot, and Harry found it rather amusing to see their reactions to Dumbledore's various accusations and Fudge's arguments as to why he had done what he had done. Which, watered down from all the blustering, was the fact that he was the Minister of Magic and as such Fudge was free to do whatever he wanted.

It was doubly interesting to see who agreed with the idiot, and who didn't. Had the wizards truly grown that arrogant? That ignorant?

"Do not dally, Harry. We have a duty to do, no matter how amusing the natives are," a second voice stated, adding a light cuff to the back of Harry's head for good measure.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up guys, it's not you who have been given this duty," Harry whined only to be met with two sets of laughter.

"Fine," Harry pouted, gathering up some of the magic floating in the room, channelling it into a clap of thunder, efficiently silencing everyone in the room and causing them to hunch down uncertainly.

"Who goes there?" Dumbledore demanded, looking around the room angrily, looking quite powerful and menacing. At least among these sheep he did. Privately, Harry thought he looked kind of ridiculous, but he wasn't about to tell the old man that.

"I goes here," Harry replied calmly, making a show of opening a portal and stepping through it, his two companions following him.

"And who are you? This is a closed session; non-members are not welcomed here at this time. I will therefore have to ask you to leave," Dumbledore stated, eyeing the three strangers with a judicial eye.

"It no longer matters, because I am here to close you down," Harry said calmly, ignoring the twin groans from his back and the affronted roar coming from the Wizengamot.

"What? How dare you! Now see here-!" Fudge blustered, shaking his mangled bowler hat at Harry when he no longer could find words to speak in his fury.

"I don't believe it! You don't even recognise me, do you? Harry asked in disbelief, looking around the room and the people gathered there. He knew he had changed, but had he really changed that much?

"Just who are you, young man, and why have you come here?" an elderly woman asked, doing her best to give these strangers a kind smile, but failing completely due to all the stress and unappealing facts she'd been bombarded with for the past hour.

"I am Harry Potter, and I am your new ruler," Harry stated calmly, watching in amusement as the room erupted into complete chaos.

oOo

"You did that on purpose," Lucius Malfoy accused his bonded as he settled into a chair.

"But of course," Harry replied with a chuckle, sending the blond a cheeky smile.

"Harry, behave," Severus said with a groan, sending his lover a glower when all he did was laugh. After all this time, there were still days when the Potions master despaired of _ever_ understanding his bonded.

"_Calm, my love, you know that you love me and that I love you. That is all that is needed, is it not?"_ Harry sent, giving his prickly mate a mental hug.

"You two can coo at each other later, first Harry needs to take charge here before we are arrested and things turns ugly," Lucius said, keeping a cautious eye on the mob that was forming. If they didn't act quickly, this simple takeover truly could turn unpleasant.

Sighing, Harry acknowledged the truth and rose to his feet, gathering the floating magic to him once more. "Silence!" he barked, amplifying his voice with the borrowed power, causing it to boom not only across the Wizengamot chamber, but through the entire Ministry building and then some.

"Thank you. As I was saying, I am Harry Potter and I am here to take over as ruler of you lot."

"But you can't do that! I am the Minister of Magic, and I will allow no such thing," Fudge cried in outrage.

"Well, there is the small problem with your statement," Harry replied calmly.

"And what is that?" Fudge asked with a sneer.

"I already have."

"You already have what?" Dumbledore asked, a feeling of dread taking root in his stomach.

"Taken over," Harry replied with a distinctly Slytherin grin.

"Pardon me, but you cannot be Harry Potter," the elderly woman said, walking closer to where Harry was standing.

"And why not?" Harry asked, finding the entire situation rather hilarious. How could he not when he had the leaders of magical Britain all flustered and confused?

Behind him, Severus and Lucius shared a look before smiling ruefully. Salazar Slytherin and Magic had both been very bad influences on their bond mate. Harry had not only come to embrace his powers, he had grown to love sowing chaos and discord. They both utterly and completely blamed Dumbledore for this, and they were going to take great delight in paying the man back for the many headaches Harry had given them since their forced bonding.

"Because Harry Potter is the same age as my grandson. And Neville is only fifteen. You look to be about twenty. So unless you are disguising yourself with a spell or potion, you simply cannot be Harry Potter," Augusta Longbottom stated simply.

"You make a good argument, my lady," Harry said, giving the Longbottom matriarch a flourished bow, "But there is one thing wrong with your reasoning," he added with a wicked grin, devilment dancing in his alluring green eyes.

"Really, young man? And what is that?" Augusta asked haughtily.

"The fact that you all screwed me up so badly that the Mistress had to remove me to another realm to straighten me and my magic out," Harry replied simply. "It might have been mere hours for you since that buffoon placed that cursed bracelet on my wrist, but to me it has been a lot longer than that. A whole lot longer."

"Mistress? Who have you sworn yourself to, Harry? And where is Tom?" Dumbledore asked, his feeling of dread growing. What foolishness had Harry done now? And who had managed to get their hooks into Dumbledore's primary tool and weapon? Hadn't the idiot boy learnt anything while dealing with Voldemort?

"Funny you should ask that," Harry said with a wicked smirk, prowling towards where the aged headmaster was standing. "Voldemort... Voldemort had the misfortune of pissing off the wrong person. It was all very sad, really it was," Harry added with a theoretical sigh as he wiped away an imaginary tear.

"What did you do to him, Harry? And how did you manage to not go crazy from the magical backlash of killing one of your bond mates?" Dumbledore asked, eyeing his tool carefully. In truth, the boy had never looked better, and Albus couldn't help but shiver in delight when Harry's magic accidentally touched his own. Harry Potter had indeed grown into his powers, and the boy was even stronger than Dumbledore had ever dared to dream or even hope.

And the foolish boy had sworn himself to someone else!

Harry snorted and deliberately turned his back on the headmaster, looking over to where his mates were sitting and mentally commenting on everything. Normally, Harry wouldn't have minded their snarking, but today they were a tad distracting. Not to mention that he resented that he couldn't join them, adding a few snarks of his own.

"You have known Albus Dumbledore longer than I have, does he always jump to conclusions like that?" Harry asked his lovers, pointing his thumb over his shoulder to make it doubly clear who he was referring to.

"Hmm, Albus always struck me as a man who enjoys playing his cards close to his chest. Not to mention that the man _delights_ making himself look omnipotent, but jumping to conclusions...? No, not the impression I got. Severus? You used to work for him, what do you say?" Lucius asked, glancing over at his fellow Slytherin as he passed the question on.

"Albus isn't known for it, but he does have a tendency to jump to conclusions, yes," Severus replied slowly, a pensive look on his face.

"Really?" Harry asked, starting to bounce a little, he so loved making fun of Dumbledore these days. He particularly loved poking holes in the man's reputation by pointing out his many, many, _many_ shortcomings and faults.

"Now, now, Severus, you know very well that that is not true," Dumbledore said chidingly, putting on a wounded look in the hopes of stemming Severus' tongue before things that should not be aired came out into the open.

"Hmm, perhaps you are correct, Albus, but you can't deny to having a... tendency shall we say? To ignore facts that does not support your theories. Not to mention the way you tend to turn a blind eye to facts and events that does no suite you and your notions," Severus said dryly, giving his former employer a pointed look.

Albus refused to blush, or to give any other indication that Snape's words had hit home. Instead he brushed the words aside easily due to his long habit of never allowing uncomfortable truths to bother him and turned to the more pressing matter of dealing with Harry's rash and unfortunate decision to swear himself to this mysterious mistress.

"Harry my boy, who is it that you have sworn your allegiance to, and just how did you manage to avoid the backlash of killing Tom? Could the same method be used to save you from Severus and Lucius?" Dumbledore asked, a faint stirring of hope taking root in his heart. Maybe it wasn't too late to save his tool, and even if Harry went a bit insane... As long as he obeyed Albus, the boy's mental health really didn't matter.

Before he could make any further plans, Albus Dumbledore found himself facing a furious Potter and two glowing hands. Oh my, had the boy managed to master wandless magic as well? That would not sit well with the Wizengamot, since such skill was considered Dark these days.

"I was going to allow you to live, old man," Harry hissed furiously, "But you just signed your own death warrant. How dare you accusing me of killing Tom Riddle. And how _dare_ you try to do the same to Lucius and Severus?"

"Calm down, brat, he no longer has the power to hurt you. He no longer can hurt any of us, you know this, Harry, so calm down before your magic buries us alive, _again_."

"Hey! It wasn't my fault that I accidentally brought that cave down," Harry protested, turning around so that he could glare at Severus for bringing that old history up.

Severus didn't give Harry a chance to further proclaim his innocence. Instead he calmly pulled the youth into his arms and kissed him silly, knowing fully well that it was the fastest, not to mention safest, way to calm his furious bond mate down.

When he finally pulled back, forcing much needed oxygen down starved lungs, Lucius was there and pulled Harry into another mind stealing kiss.

"Ahem, would someone mind telling me just what happened to the three of you? And who is this Tom Riddle? And why is Albus so convinced the Mr Potter killed him?" Augusta asked, breaking into the tranquillity the three bond mates had managed to create despite the chaos going on around them.

Sighing deeply, Harry turned around to face the crowd, suddenly just feeling tired and wanting this whole mess to be over and done with.

"Okay, from what I heard, Fudge and Dumbledore has already told you of what happened at Hogwarts earlier," Harry finally said, needing a starting point and figuring that was as good place as any to start the explanation.

"Well, needing a private place to talk things over, where I knew that we couldn't be interrupted," Harry added, sending Dumbledore a dark look, having no illusions of how that meeting would have gone if Dumbledore had managed to put his beak into it.

"I figured the Room of Requirement was a safe and private as I could get, so I dragged the others up there," Harry went on, not bothering to explain what the Room of Requirement was. If the Wizengamot was that curious about it they could bloody well read _Hogwarts: A History_ and find out for themselves.

"Voldemort naturally couldn't make things smoothly, so it didn't take long before we got into an argument of just why this war was fought. Riddle went on and on about fulfilling his forefather's wishes and we got into a huge fight about it," Harry said with a small shrug. To him that argument had happened years ago, and, to tell the truth, he had all but forgotten his dispute with the self styled Dark Lord. After all, why should he remember Tom Riddle's posturing and stupid blathering? Much more important things had happened that day, and Harry no longer dwelled on unimportant matters. Life was too short for that.

"Was that when you killed Tom, Harry? Your anger overtook you perhaps and-"

"For your information, Albus Dumbledore, Harry didn't kill Riddle, someone else did," Severus hissed, pointing his wand at the aged wizard. "If you dare to make that ridiculous accusation once more, I will make certain that that is the last word you utter in this life. You have been warned."

Albus eyes Severus carefully, realising with a start that the Potions master meant every word he'd just spoken. Taking the warning to heart, the aged wizard wisely stepped back, inclining his head slightly, making sure to keep his mouth firmly shut. He simply could not risk being killed before he knew for certain that Tom Riddle was permanently dead.

"Calm down, love," Harry said softly, placing his hand on his mate's rigid arm, silently urging him to put his wand away.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, Voldemort and I got into a fight about Salazar Slytherin and his wishes. Due to the nature of the Room of Requirement, a portrait of Salz appeared-"

"But that is impossible! There are no portraits of Salazar Slytherin left. They were all destroyed _ages_ ago," Fudged foolishly interrupted, and promptly soiled himself as he felt the power surge around Potter and his two companions. It finally sank into Cornelius' thick skull that this time he was well over his head, and that these three beings held neither love nor mercy for him in their hearts. Since he wasn't a complete fool, at least not when it came to self-preservation, Fudge immediately sought shelter behind Dumbledore, trusting the aged wizard to protect him should the need arise.

"To prevent further interruptions, let's just say that the Room of Requirement is a very special room the Founders of Hogwarts built, capable of almost anything," Lucius said calmly, looking around the room, daring the congregated wizards and witches to interrupted his bonded again.

"Salazar was not impressed with his current heir. They got into an argument, and to make a long story short, since, to tell you the truth, I hardly even remember any of the details any more, too much has happened since then. The important fact of that day is that the Mistress was brought back into this world again."

The Wizengamot shifted restlessly at those words. Many wanted to ask who this mysterious mistress was, but no one was brave, or foolish, enough to actually voice their questions.

"Turns out the Mistress that Salz was speaking bout was Magic herself," Harry went on, smiling slightly as he flashed back to the many wonders the entity had shown him over the years. "Magic was not at all happy about the way you have all forgotten about her. Or how those among you who _do_ remember have utterly and completely discarded her and her gifts.

"She took one look at Riddle and flew into a fit when she realised just how twisted and perverted he had become as he moulded himself into Lord Voldemort. Not about to stand for _that_, Magic destroyed him, absolutely and totally.

"So you see, Albus, it wasn't _I_ who killed your precious Tom Riddle, it was Magic," Harry said snidely, giving Dumbledore a dark look for daring to believe the worst of him.

"Magic then took the three of us to another realm where she spent an age fixing my magic from the mess you lot made of it. From the way she was swearing, it is a miracle I was able to use it at all, what with the various blocks and whatnot placed upon it. Apparently Albus Dumbledore wasn't the only one who messed around with my magical core, but I don't know who beside him did," Harry said, smirking slightly as a sigh of relief swept across the room.

"Lucius and Severus do, however, and I understand they plan to have a little... _talk_ with the guilty culprits." Harry's smirk as several moans of despair could be heard before they were swiftly muffled. He truly didn't know who had been messing around with his magic, and he no longer cared, secure in the knowledge that no one could ever hurt him again. For now, that was enough.

"Enraged, Magic was fully prepared to obliterate the lot of you, thinking you unworthy of her gifts. I talked her out of that idea, pointing out that there were plenty of innocent people out there who had done nothing to hurt me and mine.

"Eventually, Magic agreed with me, but she was not prepared to allow you to continue unchecked. And that is where I come in. Magic has decreed that you are too corrupted, greedy, and down right power hungry to be left on your own. So she designated you a ruler.

"Me.

"Which is why from this day forth I am your ruler until such a time that Magic decrees you are wise enough to once more rule yourselves. I suggest you get used to the idea quickly, because we are here to stay, and nothing you do or say can make us leave.

"Oh yeah, that reminds me, from this day forth honest and just rules with be put in place, and everyone, and I do mean everyone, will be bound to follow them. If you don't agree, you can petition Magic to get the ruling changed. But be warned, if she thinks your complaint is petty and not worth her time, she has sworn that she will remove your magic and force you to live out the rest of your life as a Muggle," Harry said with some relish, chuckling softly as the Wizengamot erupted into shouts of protests, their indignation and anger overruling their fears.

Settling back into Severus' arms, taking hold of Lucius' hand, Harry watched and waited for the furore to die down.

"Harry, that is wonderful news, and I am very proud of how you have managed to turn an unpleasant situation around the way you have," Dumbledore said as he approached the three powerful wizards.

"I am positive that you will not allow your new position to go to your head, or use it to further your own agenda. That said, I am certain that you will need some help revising our laws and I would be happy to place myself at your disposal. I know how the wizarding world works and I-"

"That is enough, Dumbledore, we have no intentions of allowing you to use us to create your utopia of The Greater Good," Lucius stated firmly, wanting to nip _that_ idea in the bud, knowing fully well that if they didn't deal with Dumbledore now the aged wizard would hound them to distraction. Harry didn't need that, and neither did Severus and he.

"Do you honestly think that creating the world Tom Riddle sought will be better?" Albus asked, unable to suppress his sneer as he glared at the smooth, composed Slytherin. Oh, how he hated Lucius Malfoy at this very moment. But Lucius' victory wouldn't be long. Albus would make sure of it. Harry had once eagerly followed Dumbledore's lead, and it shouldn't be difficult to remind Harry whom he should give his alliance, and his obedience, to.

Harry couldn't help but burst into laughter. "Do you honestly believe that we want Voldemort's dream world to come true? If that is what we wanted, why should we bother to take over? The way you are going it shouldn't take more than fifty years or so before his vision came true."

Dumbledore could only gape at his tool, unwilling to believe that that was true. Not after all his efforts and sacrifices to create a world where everyone could prosper.

"Face it, old man, you failed. You had your chance to do something big, something important, and you fumbled the ball. Now your time is past and I will be the one remembered for shaping our world into something good, something that will last, if not forever, a very long, long time," Harry said, giving Dumbledore a pitying look as the Headmaster of Hogwarts grew pale and shaky as his world began to crumble around him.

"No," Dumbledore said softly, weakly, "no, that is not possible. No, you don't know... You don't understand... Harry, there is something I must tell you, something I've been delaying to divulge to you, but I see now that I must. Harry, my dear boy, there is a prophecy-" Albus began to say only to be interrupted by a negligent wave of Harry's wrist.

"I know. Magic informed me of it. But Albus, she also told me that it had been fulfilled."

"No! That is not possible! Harry, you must listen to me, I suspect Tom created several-"

"Yes, yes, yes, the idiot created several horcruxes, making Harry one of them by mistake I might add," Severus interrupted impatiently. "What part of Magic obliterated the fool did you not understand, Albus? Do you sincerely think that Magic wouldn't have noticed what he'd done when she dealt with him? In fact, that was the very thing that tipped the scales and caused her to destroy him. Honestly, Albus, couldn't you think of anything better to get your hooks into Harry again?" Severus asked, giving his former employer an incredulous look. Albus Dumbledore was usually much smoother in his operations than this bumbling dunderhead standing before him today.

"_Calm yourself, love, the busy bee isn't used to having his reality turned upside down. He is more accustomed to sitting unruffled, unthreatened in his nest, destroying others in the name of the Greater Good. The old manipulator isn't used to having that happening to him,"_ Lucius sent with a wicked chuckle, secretly taking great delight in seeing his old foe brought to his metaphorical knees. Oh, but Dumbledore would never recover from this, never, both Severus and he would make sure of it. Never again would this old fool be allowed to bother any of them again. And Lucius would be damned before he allowed Dumbledore to come near Harry ever again.

"Do you honestly believe that you are capable of setting yourself up as ruler of the magical world?" Mrs Longbottom asked, eyeing Harry thoughtfully.

Harry didn't mind the scepticism he felt coming from Neville's grandmother. He knew who he was now, and it didn't hurt that Magic had managed to correct most of the damage the Dursleys' neglect had caused.

He would never reach his proper height, but it no longer rankled him. On the contrary, Harry was quite happy with how it allowed him to snuggle close to his mates, making him feel safe, loved, and protected when they wrapped their arms around him as he hid from the world in their embrace.

Magic _had_ managed to fix his eyesight, however, which, in Harry's opinion, was much more important than correcting how tall he was, leaving his eyes a glowing green framed with thick, sooty eyelashes.

Add raven black locks that flowed to the small of his back and a flawless skin, yes, that pesky scar was gone too, and Harry knew that he looked good.

Since similar transformations had occurred to his mates as well, leaving them to look years younger, Harry was very well aware of the impact the three of them were making on the Wizengamot.

The old geezers would complain, but Harry knew that they were little more than sheep, and they would soon fall in line, allowing anyone who were stronger to lead them without too many questions asked.

It was fortunate for magical Britain that this time they had gained a fair leader who would look out for everyone's welfare.

"You have no right doing this, boy! You have no right claiming yourself as ruler of us!" one of the wizards shouted, ignoring his companions' urges to keep quiet.

"No? You don't like me taking charge? You don't want to admit that Magic is real and that she now is your ultimate ruler?" Harry asked, all but purring, sharing an amused glance with his mates. "Then maybe you should have done something about Fudge before he got delusional enough to try and trap me just so that he could control me by controlling my mate.

"Fudge didn't like it that I was telling people that Lord Voldemort was back, so he came up with what he thought was the perfect plan. He stole a bracelet from the Department of Mysteries, using it on me to call forth my soulmate.

"If Fudge hadn't done that, if he had left matters well alone, he would still be Minister of Magic and you lot would still be members of the Wizengamot," Harry said, taking in the gathered crowd with a sweep of his arm.

"But because Fudge was scared of the truth, he did what he did, putting this chain of effects into play. And now the chain has come to its end, and at that end is me and my bonded mates, and we are now your rulers. Deal with it!" Harry snapped, grabbing hold of his mates, preparing to Apparate them home.

"Lord Voldemort is gone. The prophecy has been fulfilled. You have no more excuses thanks to Cornelius Fudge. All you have is me!" Harry said with an evil grin as he took his lovers home.

"That wasn't very nice, Harry," Lucius chided, allowing himself to be tugged towards the bedroom. After that confrontation they could use some fun time before dealing with the mess that was the Ministry of Magic.

"Hey, I never said that I was nice," Harry complained as he stripped out of his clothes. "Besides, both you and Severus have told me how many times that you don't do nice? And since I have every intention of you doing me..." Harry trailed off suggestively as he crawled onto the bed, wiggling his behind enticingly.

"Screw nice, Lucius, I for one like him dark and wicked," Severus said, stripping out of his own clothes in record time, eager to join his lover, needing the stress relief too.

Lucius merely sighed in exasperation, but it was mostly for show. No, Harry wasn't always nice these days, but he wasn't evil either. He was Harry, and Lucius wouldn't have him any other way.

Banishing his clothes, Lucius pounced his impertinent lover, claiming luscious lips in a searing kiss. Screw the Ministry and its idiots, Lucius had more... pressing needs to deal with.


	4. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, alas, and I am making no money from this, it is purely for entertainment and fun.

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_Epilogue_

Harry Potter calmly installed himself as ruler of magical Britain and immediately began to make changes to the betterment of all magical beings, and not just to witches and wizards.

There were protests, of course, but they swiftly died down when Magic herself appeared and took the troublemakers to task, making good on her promise of stripping them of their magic and forcing them to live the rest of their lives as Muggles in the Muggle world.

After that, no one dared to protest too loudly, although there were plenty of angry mutters since most wizards did not appreciate learning that werewolves now had rights, as had other magical creatures, even the goblins.

It didn't take long, however, before the wizards and witches of Britain began to realise that their lives were getting better. The papers now only reported the truth. Taxes were lowered, and the products available in the shops got cheaper with a bigger selection of a higher quality.

The new court only employed knowable and competent people, drastically improving the services for the people, and Hogwarts got the long overdue overhaul she so desperately needed. New subjects were introduced, competent teachers were hired and the incompetent once were fired. (Among those were Binns and Trelawney.)

Needless to say, Albus Dumbledore was promptly fired as Headmaster of Hogwarts and Remus Lupin was instated in his stead. Sirius Black became the new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, once he had spent a few months at St Mungo's to deal with his time in Azkaban.

Severus Snape did not return to teaching, although he did, somewhat grudgingly, accept truly gifted students as apprentices, wanting to make sure that the things he had learned from Slytherin and Magic was spread among the populous and would not be forgotten again. One of those students was Draco Malfoy who in time rose to be the second best Potions master in the world, only second to his mentor and godfather, Severus Snape.

Hermione Granger was at first thrilled to learn that Harry was the ruler of the magical world, especially when he began to work for a more just system for all magical creatures.

However, when Harry didn't immediately implement her suggestions, such as freeing all House Elves, things began to sour between them, until Hermione turned her back on her long-time friend, starting to campaign against him, proclaiming him Dark when he refused to follow her counsel. Not even when Magic went to talk to her did Hermione listen, stubbornly insisting that she new best, even going so far as citing several books that proved her point of view, no matter what arguments Magic came up with to counter her logic.

In the end, Magic was forced to strip her gift from Hermione, sending her back to the Muggle world where she lived out the rest of her life, becoming a dentist like her parents, taking over their practise when they wished to retire.

Ronald Weasley did abandon his dream of becoming an Auror. Even thought the new system was much improved, Ron could never get over his hatred of all things Slytherin, refusing to work someplace where a Malfoy would be his boss.

Instead, he became a full-time chess player, participating in the tournaments Harry instigated, and over the years he made himself a name as a Supreme Chess Master, finally finding the fame and recognition he had craved all his life.

Lucius Malfoy was happy spending his time helping Harry as his right hand man. There were many things wrong with the magical world, and he enjoyed wading in and fixing the mistakes of previous ministers. He and Harry did not always agree on the best way to deal with the problems, but whenever they seriously disagreed, Magic acted as referee, and since her will was absolute no harm was done to their bond, leaving them free to bicker and argue, and make up, to their hearts content.

Harry Potter went down in history as a hard yet fair ruler of the magical world. With time he was placed on the same pedestal as King Arthur and many scholars and wise men argued which ruler had benefited the populace the most.

Harry found the whole thing ridiculous and refused to comment. He did his job to the best of his ability, and was happy to retire with his mates to Magic's realm some five hundreds years later.

Albus Dumbledore was pushed to the side, no longer wanted as an advisor of any kind by anyone. Due to Magic's displeasure with his actions, Albus was forced to live on the fringe of the magical world, unable to do anything but watch as Harry created a world where anyone who wished to work hard could prosper, no matter who your parents were or what type of blood ran through your veins. It was with relief the old man was allowed to finally rest when Harry retired, although his next great adventure turned out to be not so great as he was greeted by a very displeased Lily Potter who made it her mission in death to make the next few centuries of Dumbledore's life a pure misery. The remaining Marauders were only too happy to help her with her quest.

As for Cornelius Fudge, he spent the rest of his life in self-imposed exile, spending most of his time in various pubs, crying into his fire whiskey and bemoaning his fate to anyone he managed to snare. Since everyone knew who he was and what he had done, Cornelius was forced to resort to using super glue to keep his captives in place long enough to pour out his feelings of injustice. (Sticking charms were too easily cancelled, allowing his victims to escape far too soon to the former minister's displeasure)

Since no one else appreciated this method, Fudge swiftly found himself persona-non-grata at a growing number of establishments, forcing him to travel from town to town looking for the next pub to drown his sorrows at.

And that, my dear friends, is how the event known as Fudge's Fudge came about. And the lesson we learned was to not suppress the truth, and to never, ever mess with Magic and her subjects.

* * *

A/N: And so we reach the end of this journey. I hope you have had fun reading this story; I most certainly had a blast writing it.

Until Next Time,

Janara


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